(Brother of Caelynna Silverblade)
For the longest time now, there is only one thing that can keep the darkness from consuming me, and that happens to be my sister.
I can’t say that I arrived at this point in my life out of the blue. There were signs. My parents, for one, they were so oppressive. Deep down inside me, I know that they loved Caelynna and I, but they never really expressed anything. God forbid they take time out to praise their own children for something other than aptitude. Their idea of love was to pass on the greatest amount of knowledge that they could in order to prep us for a life of study.
Cool indifference is a trait that I have typically hidden from people. I’m sure that it shows itself in my actions, but I really have tried to act like I care. It’s funny to think of how different I am from my sister. She is compassion personified. She enjoys life, and her interactions with others. I have never really needed that. I’m perfectly content to be on my own with no one around me for days. Of course Caelynna brings me out of my hiding just by being around. We have found ourselves in heaps of trouble because of her antics. I have always enjoyed stealing a few hours of happiness with my sister. But when those fleeting moments are over, I am always indifferent again.
I won’t say that I’m emotionally dead. I’m not. I love my sister, my parents in a way, and I have definitely found the capacity for friends and acquaintances at times. I will say that I’m emotionally stunted. I just don’t feel the same compassion for the average layperson that is not implicitly a part of my life that most people do. I do not have the gene that grants a person the ability to identify strangers as being similar in any fashion to myself. This is the true crux of my issue, as without this compassion, I feel that eventually, as my mastery of the magical arts increase, I may end up becoming a monster, or a detriment to society. With the furthering of my education, and studies, my humanity slips further away.
My studies have always been of the utmost importance to me. I pride myself on being able to reason, and solve any riddle handed to me. I feel that my intellect is my gift to society. It’s the only way that I can give any shred of assistance to my fellow man.
Of course I have recently taken a hiatus from my education. I have taken a job with the Cadderly Company. If Caelynna only knew the true motivation behind my joining in on her adventures, she’d be furious. Dean Shorinas approached me recently and insisted that I accompany my sister in this venture. The Dean relayed her concerns Caelynna’s unorthodox training and her safety if something should happen. We both agreed it would be best. I would never forgive myself if she came to harm. So I barely gave any difficulty regarding her proposition. I asked for nothing in return. I just agreed, and packed my bags for a long voyage.
I’m actually somewhat looking forward to this adventure. It will be enjoyable to spend time with Caelynna while we free ourselves of the rigors of our normal routines, and adopt new one. But I can’t help but feel that this time away from my studies and research will be setting me back considerably. I guess that’s the price of my meddling in my sister’s affairs. She didn’t seem to mind my tagging along. In fact she seems thrilled by the notion of conquering the world, brother and sister together, going on adventure after adventure together. For that, I suppose my studies can wait.
Hopefully, I can quell the evil that creeps in the corners of my vision. I feel that staying close to my sister is probably the only way. I guess thinking about it this way maybe I didn’t join Cadderly because of the Dean’s insistence at all. Maybe I joined Cadderly because I’m afraid that if I lose my sister, I will lose my last positive connection to society.
She is such a good, kind soul. I just hope that her goodness can help me to continue walking in the light.